This year has been a year. Who could have ever imagined? A global pandemic. A social justice movement. A pivotal presidential election. Yep, all of that happened this year plus some more stuff. How did you do? How did you survive/thrive/cope/excel? How did you grow? How did you help others?
I woke up with those questions on my spirit for me to answer for myself. I began journaling about them and I’m still reflecting on those questions. This was not a wasted year. Those of us who have had growth through trauma and grief know all too well that nothing is ever wasted, even if we hated the experience we had to get to that realization. I wrote in my journal a top 10 list about who I was in this world in 2020. It was a mixture of being a good friend to delivering some great wins at work to keep people employed to being the connection on Ancestry.com to an unknown cousin who finally found out who his biological father was after being adopted for many years. God chose me to do that! I still trip out over that story.
I also taught a graduate-level class this year that I created to help more people in my field be culturally competent which ties into social justice from a corporate advocacy standpoint. I raised money for several important causes including those in the sphere of my legacy in education. I became more deeply connected to my church and God in particular. I increased my prayer game and kept reaffirming that I am God’s child and He is in my corner always as Friend, Father, Mother, and Keeper.
I’m preparing to do my end of year ritual to reflect on the past year and prepare for what I want to achieve in the next. It’s less about planning, although I certainly have plans. It’s more about who do I want to be and how do I want to show up in the world. How I want to unconditionally love myself and be a light to others who want that too. We say those words, but how many of us actually do love ourselves unconditionally? I know I did not for a long time. I loved myself through the lens of how others saw me, how they evaluated what I did for them, and how they measured me based on what I achieved. I am gently unraveling myself from those oppressive lenses. A big part of that was me taking the month of December off just to exist. Just to rest. Just to process my emotions during this unbelievable year. To mourn some relationships and people I’ve lost. To not define myself by my doing, but by my being. I am worthy of existence not just because of what I put out in the world. God told me that earlier this year.
If you want to do some unraveling of your year and preparing for the next, I highly recommend Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year 2021 (www.susannahconway.com). It takes you through a series of questions to help guide a conversation with yourself about your life.
To my readers, I look forward to developing my creativity in this new year as there are so many things I have percolating. And that’s a big win I think: being excited about the future and having something to look forward to. Cheers to an unwasted year and to soaring on the horizons ahead. Namaste.
“Those of us who have had growth through trauma and grief know all too well that nothing is ever wasted, even if we hated the experience we had to get to that realization.”
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